You’re watching a nature programme: vast flocks of flamingos gather at an African lake in search of food and a mate, the noise is incredible as thousands fly in, intent on completing the circle of life… Witness the same at The Centre for Jewish Life dinners at the Marriott Regents Park but with Jewish ex-pats instead of flamingos.
But don’t worry if your wings are not pink and your legs aren’t spindly, if you’re a bloke you can make up the minyan and if you’re a girl you can still straighten your hair, smile and look pretty.
There’s no doubt about it, this place is a kosher meat market but if the only tongue action your interested in is some language exchange you won’t go away disappointed with a guest list that reads like a roll call of Olympic medalists. If they were all Jewish. And from Latin America, France and South Africa. Not many Chinese to be honest. Anyway, it’s very diverse and anthropologically fascinating according to one regular.
The Centre for Jewish Life (the Artists formally known as Chabad’s Gaon Club) are unapologetically Orthodox but this crowd isn’t especially frum although it is pretty traditional.
Things kick off with Kabbalat Shabbat but only about 10% of people attend. Boys will be leaped on to join in, girls less so. It is of course a traditional service, a quickie job which may be tough for beginners. There is Kiddush, Hamotzi and benching which most people talk through as well as some words of Torah between courses. This is accompanied by a few words from the international attendees sharing for example how great the Jews of Uruguay are and how much they are enjoying themselves.
It’s all held together by the Vogel brothers, (not to be confused with the Chuckle brothers…) They will ply you with whiskey and want to know all about why you moved to Maida Vale from Kazakhstan…
You’ll find masses of food and it’s good, with meat always on the menu as well as copious amounts of alcohol for all those l’chaims.
The vast numbers make it a good way to meet people if you are new to town but beware – this is definitely territory for your exes from Jdate – and yes, they are no doubt equally thrilled to see you too.
So the key to survival in this Jewish jungle is to throw yourself in and go with the flow. You could easily turn up alone, just plonk yourself down at a friendly looking table but don’t be offended if they’re saving space for friends or their cousin from Cape Town. You do need to book in advance and it’s best to dress smart, remember it’s all about first impressions…